February 5, 2015
This week I’ve been dwelling on the mysterious art of balance. For most people, finding the happy medium between duty and pleasure is a continuous struggle. For those recently engaged, it may feel like enough to do you in. Even the most organized, supported and confident women I know start to break at some point. The truth is, you’ve basically added an additional full-time job to your life. Regardless of the kind of wedding you dream of, manifesting your Pinterest board into real life is no small feat. I’ve outlined a few of my best pieces of advice for surviving the struggle.
Have honest conversations. You’ve probably been dreaming of this day for years, but your fiancé might need a minute to catch up to the vision. If you don’t want a passive groom, start off on the right foot. Work together to determine your vision as a unit. Every bride I’ve worked with has been shocked to discover their man cares about something unexpected – be it what kind of flowers you choose or what song is played as he walks his grandma down the aisle. Don’t fall for the stereotype that says guys don’t care about the wedding. Nine times out of ten they do if you give them a chance.
Break up the boring. Try to come up with a good mix of vendor appointments and don’t cram too much into a day. If you meet with five DJs in a row your head will probably explode. Throw in a cake tasting in the middle of that long Saturday afternoon!
Eat something. There’s a definite temptation to look your best on the most important day of your life. However, foregoing food might actually turn you into a crazy person. Plus I don’t think dark circles under the eyes will be making an appearance in this year’s bridal trends. You won’t be able to think clearly if you’re running low on energy, so get some sleep and make healthy eating choices.
Watch what you say. We’ve all had that friend who becomes so absorbed with wedding planning that you end up avoiding her just so you don’t have to hear about the chair covers she selected. Enjoy the company of those around you without having a one-track-mind. If all you’re doing is wedding planning than you probably won’t have much else to talk about. If nothing else, take a TV break so you can at least talk about what happened on Scandal.
Wedding planning is not always quality time. This is by far the best advice I can give. If you spend all your together time researching vendors and contracts, you will certainly start to resent the process. I know time is limited, and you may feel like you should be spending every available minute working on these big (and expensive) plans. However, it’s important to intentionally plan date nights where absolutely no wedding planning is discussed. I cannot thank our dear friends Tim and Heather enough for dragging us out last weekend for dinner and a movie (p.s. the crab cakes at Eleven Eleven Mississippi are heavenly).
Don’t sweat the small stuff. No one will know you intended to hand-tie a ribbon on all your favors, but your husband will remember you snapping at him about it. Keep everything in perspective and remember what the day is all about. At the end of the day, the months leading up to your wedding are first and foremost preparation for your marriage.
*This post is part of the series From Miss to Mrs, one wedding coordinator’s personal journey from the proposal to “I do”, and everything in between.